Glotmorf on 3 Apr 2002 23:09:58 -0000

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Re: spoon-business: The Late Late Late Ballot For nweek 11

Pending being given the thuthi, I'm thtill able to act in my capathity ath the Thtyle Polithe, and therefore will provide a comprehenthive review of the current thowcathe...

>Proposal 491/1: Keeping the ballot boxes safe for democracy (Bean)

While there are platheth in Europe where film noir ith thtill flourithing, conthpirathy ploth have been tho done to death in the democratic world.  It becometh increathingly difficult to come up with thomething that'th effective yet not ecthethive.  It'th effective if it thcareth and unthettleth the audienthe; it'th ecthethive if the audienthe hath to rathionalithe the major athpecth of the plot in order to maintain one'th thuthpenthion of dithbelief.

What I am theeing in thith pieth ith a dethire to thock with ecthtremity on two levelth: that murder, even theemingly temporary murder, ith a workable approach to ethtablithing polithy, and that it can be made to theem actheptable.  But thethe ideath are not new; it hath long been athumed by thothiety that the keeperth and managerth of democrathy are capable of doing dirty deedth to get the job done, and it hath long been rejected ath actheptable.  The people are the victimth in a thothiety that ruleth by death, and therefore the people cannot be perthuaded to like it when prethented on the thcreen.

They reject it, and tho do I.  I vote negative.

>Proposal 504/1: Death, Taxes... (The Administrator)

And on the thothial thene, we thee Mithter A, and thith time, dahlingth, there'th more on hith arm than hith jacket.  What dalliantheth ith he planning?  What thecluded hideaway will he be dithapearing to?  And ith the clock the only thing that'll get turned on?

I, for one, am tho looking forward to theeing chapter 2 of thith thory.  I vote affirmative.

>Proposal 505/4: No, YOU Hide! (Wonko)

In thith period we thee variouth ecthprethionth of violenthe and hatred by the artithtth of the B-Nomic thchool.  Thith work by Wonko demonthtrateth hatred on multiple levelth, thuch ath hatred of gremlinth, hatred of haiku poetry, and hatred of ruleth and rethtricthionth.  That e thowth hith imprethion of the ruleth ath a battlefield full of dethtructhion and mithery reflects eir conviction that ruleth are inherently hothtile to the ruled rather than mutually benefithial.  Remarkably, though, what we mothtly thee ith eir inner conflict, eir love/hate relathionthip with the world around em: flailing againtht the ruleth, yet contributing to them; lambathting haiku, yet uthing it at eir medium; deprecating gremlinth, while nevertheleth uthing them ath the thenterpiethe.  The artitht appearth to want to rebel, yet e ith primarily rebelling againtht emthelf.

Thelf-loathing ith a contheit; it thuggethtth the thelf ith worthy of the attenthion.  And while I am reluctant to encourage it, I mutht thtill approve the work.  I vote affirmative, and rate it at 10 for the dialogue thtructure.

>Proposal 506/1: Removal of Cruft (Rob)

I quite agree.  I like my thandwitheth with the cruft trimmed off too.  I vote affirmative.

>Proposal 507/0: Roast the PIG (Rob)

Another potential offering to the Nomic cookbook, thith rethipe for roatht PIG hath a thertain crudity betht athothiated with charcoal grilling on a hibachi.  Lending a definite graphic element to the meal, it thtill failth to contribute any thubtlety or thtyle that a barn on fire can't accomplith jutht ath eathily.  I mythelf prefer my pork thalt-cured and deep-dith cooked with leekth, but that'th jutht me.

Thith rethipe, however, ithn't.  I vote negative.

>Proposal 508/1: Temperature (Rob)

I jutht love it when e talkth thith way, thetting the thene for romantic eveningth at the firethide, with a yeti to throw onto the fire if needed.  Nothing like the thmell of yeti roathting on an open fire on a cold thpring evening.

I vote affirmative.  I'll have the wine ready.

>Proposal 509/0: Cinquains Suck (Rob)

Thuch hate
Thuch weakneth thown
Banithing an art form
Rather than admit lack of thkill
Thuch hate

If the medium ith not the methage, it'th not the fault of the medium.  I vote negative.

>Proposal 510/0: Only running is boring IV: Bean f***ing hates the PIG. Die
>		die die, you blasted thing (Bean)

Clearly the game lackth ballth, tho thomeone wanth a pigthkin.  Doethn't e know that animal-product thporth equipment ith totally pathe'?

Thtill, perhapth the game could uthe thome thpithing up, tho let'th add thome meat.  I vote affirmative.

>Proposal 511/1: Vote yes on this, it's a no-op (Bean)

Charity ith thtill in fathion, dahlingth.  Give generouthly to the fund for the poor, abuthed, mithunderthtood and phythically thrown gremlinth.  I vote affirmative.

>Proposal 512/0: Bean is SOOOO f***ing bitter (Bean)

Firtht e trieth to be cruel to the B Nomic dining community with eir rethipe for roatht e witheth to be cruel to the PIG ath well.  Dear oneth, thith ith not a boy to take home to Mama.

Bitterneth doethn't become em.  I vote negative.

>Proposal 513/0: Grandpa, that's Maggie (Bean)

And death doeth not become me.  Knowing the tathteth of thith community, I'd probably be buried in thomething thimply dreadful, thuch ath tappeta.

Think to your own death; do not think to mine.  I vote negative.

>Proposal 514/0: Stop to think. (Uncle Psychosis)

Perthonally I'd prefer to thtop and thmell the flowerth, but I thuppothe I can think while doing tho.  I vote affirmative.

>Proposal 515/2: Sirens and Cheerleaders (Congenital Optimist)

And here we thee a blatant ecthample of female chauvinithm.  To think that only female cheerleaderth can apprethiate the thtyle and fathion in a Thiren Bait purthe ith jutht wrong;  I'll have you know I've had my eye on that little number for quite thome time now.  Jutht becauthe we hold our pompomth at different pothithionth doethn't mean we don't both have an eye for the finer thingth.

I think thith ith jutht tho not fair.  But I'm not going to thay you can't get into a thcratchfetht with a thiren if you really want to.  I abthtain on thith.

>Proposal 516/0: Miscellaneous Fixes (Congenital Optimist)

Another contention that the female ith homo thuperior.  It'th time equal righth for boyth wath recognithed; I mutht put my thuede-clad foot down on thith one.  I thay thirenth need to have a gender upon creathion, tho that the oppothite gender hath a chanthe of avoiding the creature.  Otherwithe, thome people will lord their thiren-free-neth over otherth tholely becauthe of their thex.

I vote negative.

>Proposal 517/2: Notice how they do not so much fly as... plummet (Wonko)

I'm thtill not clear on how a theep can dethtroy a rock on impact, even given a high-orbital intherthion.  Or ith it the theep that'th dethtroyed, rather than the impathable object?

Too ambiguouth.  I mutht dithent.  I vote negative.

>Proposal 518/0: Shear a Sheep to Sponge a Square (Wonko)

And thinthe thith ith by nature dependent on the intercontinental ballithtic theep propothal, I abthtain on thith.

>Proposal 519/0: And yet you are possessed. (Uncle Psychosis)

Your fallathy ith thowing.  Thith propothal ith inherently illegal if it doethn't get more than 2/3 of the voteth, tho even if it patheth, if it doethn't path by enough, it ith inherently illegal, and therefore mutht never have ecthithted.

Thith I mutht thee.  I vote negative.

>Proposal 520/1: Exclusive doors. (Uncle Psychosis)

Thorry, thport.  R395 thayth that "declarations of Respect are treated as if they were proposed by the Scoring Gremlin."  Unleth the Thcoring Gremlin ith to be eligible for the Token, voteth on declarationth of rethpect can't count towardth gaining the token.

Perhapth the reathoning behind the judgment left thomething to be dethired, or better thtated, but the judgment ithelf wath fundamentally correct.

I vote negative.

>Proposal 521/0: Making crazy sounds. (Uncle Psychosis)

An audathiouth vintage, thith whine hath a thertain fruity/nutty flavor to it that might therve well in a leth-theriouth atmothphere, but ith thomewhat out of plathe here.  The whine ith not quite mature, and thould probably be chilled.

I prefer a leth thenthathionalithtic vintage.  I vote negative.

>Proposal 522/0: A Santa that will never come. (Uncle Psychosis)

I find it interethting to thee latter-day commentary on my earlier work.  Thith reviewer doethn't theem to realithe that r212 wath crafted with a thpethicif purpothe in mind: catching up with Wonko.  My ethteemed colleague Wonko hath many good ideath for rule changeth, and not everyone thinkth in termth of keeping a lid on hith pointh; it ith therefore pothible that e could propothe fifty good ideath, and all of them would be adopted becauthe they're good ideath, and no one would conthider that that thimply catapulth him further into the lead.

I thtill haven't caught up with him yet.  But I think I'm clothing the gap.  I vote negative.

>Proposal 523/0: And his merry men, too! (The Voice)

Ecthplithit highway robbery by a bandit gremlin, ath oppothed to implithit highway robbery by tacthation?  What are the thtreeth of Bville coming to, friendth?  Are you thafe from crime?  Odd how the poor have jutht ath likely a chancth of getting robbed ath the rich do.

I think I'd much rather thee thith weighted toward the people with more pointh...the arrogant and detherving.  I vote negative.

>Proposal 524/1: If at First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving is Not For You
>		(Baron von Skippy)

The Thtyle Polithe don't have much in the way of dealingth with the regular polithe...Thothe boyth can be far too butch thometimeth.  But protectionth for the innothent recreathional imbiber ith a good thing.  I vote affirmative.  And rate it 6.  Thorry, Baron, but the bracketh are jutht too outre'.

>Proposal 525/2: The Curse of the Cinquain (Wonko)

Conthidering the art medium in quethtion ith an entirely opthional one, I fail to thee why tho many people choothe to revile it rather than ignore it.  Jutht becauthe I don't care to uthe live kittenth dipped in paint for thponge art doethn't mean the medium ith completely without merit.

Okay, perhapth that wathn't the betht ecthample.  Thtill, I vote negative.

>Proposal 527/0: proosal (Wild Card)

You don't like Bruthe?

Then again, Monty Python ith alwayth in thtyle.  I vote affirmative.

>Proposal 528/0: These are the Voyages of the DimShip Benomicant (Glotmorf)

Modethty doethn't let me properly comment on my own work.  It doethn't keep me from voting affirmative on it, though, and rating it a 15.

>Proposal 529/0: Hey, Don't Let Me Stop You (Glotmorf)

Pardon me for voting affirmative.

>Proposal 530/0: Rearranging the Football Furniture (Glotmorf)

You'll underthtand if I vote affirmative, I hope.

>Proposal 531/2: Back from Exile (Wonko)

Enrique, alwayth the crooning charmer.  Good to thee him featured in thith Nomiverthe.  And tho grathiouth of Wonko to thare billing with me.

A pity thith propothal ith dethtined to become pig chow.  Thtill, I vote affirmative.

>Proposal 532/0: Fixing Football (reprise) (Bean)

And now we have a meanth to enter Limbo, even if it meanth getting knocked there.

You're tho cute when you get rough.  I vote affirmative.

>Proposal 535/0: You Can't Have Footballing co-Color Commentators
>		(Wild Card)

And here we thought the thort-thort ath a prothe form wath lotht with the legathy of, "It wath dark.  He thaid:"  But thith thippet hath good flow, and utilitheth the free-form athpecth of propothal tectht to fit the thtory, rather than the other way around.  Congrath to the author.

I vote affirmative.  And rate the thtory a 10.