|Baron von Skippy on 10 Aug 2002 02:07:04 -0000|
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|Re: [spoon-discuss] The Wealthy Bastard Joke Contest!|
I'm bored. I'll give BNS150 to anyone who can tell me a good, funny joke that I haven't heard before.-- Wonko
-Here's some for you. You can make that check out to "Baron."- How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb? 1,331:1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs. 27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs. 53 to flame the spell checkers156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.
41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt.lite.bulb
203 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.
111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this mail list.
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.
27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs.
3 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list.
33 to concatenate all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers, and then add "Me Too."
12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
19 to quote the "Me Too's" to say, "Me Three." 4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ. 1 to propose new alt.change.lite.bulb newsgroup.47 to say this is just what alt.physic.cold_fusion was meant for, leave it here.
143 votes for alt.lite.bulb. -And another...- How many Sociologists does it take to change a light bulb? It isn't the light bulb that needs changing, it's the system! -Yet another...-Scotty will report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering Section is burnt out, to which Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead.
Scotty, after checking around, notices that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains that he can't see in the dark to tend to his engines. Kirk must make an emergency stop at the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb from the natives.
Kirk, Spock, Bones, Sulu, and 3 red shirt security officers beam down. The 3 security officers are promptly killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured.
Meanwhile, back in orbit, Scotty notices a Klingon ship approaching and must warp out of orbit to escape detection.
Bones cures the native king who is suffering from the flu, and as a reward the landing party is set free and given all of the light bulbs they can carry.
Scotty cripples the Klingon ship and warps back to the planet just in time to beam up Kirk et. Al .
The new bulb is inserted, and the Enterprise continues with its five year mission.
-Another...- Q: How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: 250,000,000, one to change it and 249,999,999 to debate whether it it was politically correct.
-Last one.- Q: How many Mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb?A: In earlier work, Someone  has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.
If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.
Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.
-Can I have money now?- -BvS- _________________________________________________________________MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos: http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx
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