Alex Truelsen on 21 Mar 2002 02:47:08 -0000

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spoon-business: Proposal: Nifty News 50 Special Report

__The Riot Police__

"I'm Joe Smetson, reporting in from The Grid-o-dome, where a riot broke out this afternoon during a football game. Apparantly, the riot began when an enraged fan lept from Limbo onto the field, attacking a player there. A brawl quckly escalated, and the police were soon called in. The scene here is utter chaos, as squads of Police Gremlins try to quell the riot, which appears to have merged with an anarchist barbecue and picnic and the crowd leaving Skippy's Bar happy hour. Not a good combination. There are beer cans everywhere, some spinning across the street as foam spouts from them, propelling them like alcoholic bottle rockets. Wait, a new development- It appears that Luigi, kingpin of point loans in Bville, has started a street war with the police. There are ankles being bitten everywhere as... HEY! GET OFF! OW OW OW! *wham* Take that, you little piece of... oh, we're still filming? Uh... Anyway, the police have issued this statement."

Create a new rule which reads:

{{__The Police Gremlin__

There exists a Gremlin known as the Police Gremlin, or Copper. If Beer Cans exist, and one is thrown, and Copper is within one space of the person who threw it before it hits, Copper apprehends the player who threw the can. When Copper apprehends a player for throwing a Beer Can, Copper takes 1dN points from that player, where N is ((the thrower's BAC + 1)(the number of times the thrower has been apprehended before + 1))/(that player's Respect + 1), rounded up, and gives half that number of points, rounded up, to the Gremlin Fund, and half that number of points, rounded down, to the player who was hit with the Beer Can.

Any player may, at any time, any number of times per nweek, move Copper one space in any direction by paying 1 point/space.

If Copper does not apprehend any players for 2 nweeks, e goes into Hiding. If a Beer Can is thrown, and e is in Hiding, e comes out of Hiding.

"God damn, those things have SHARP teeth... oh, can we edit that out? I'll start again. Here we go.

"So, as can be seen, the police are dedicated to getting this riot under control, accepting bribes wherever and whenever possible. This is Joe Smetson, from The Grid-o-dome."


"Your point is if you light a match near your calculator, it's not going to scurry away. It's all relative. A big fire for Deep Blue, a little match for a little calculator."

                           -Murray Foster of Moxy Früvous

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