Glotmorf on 20 Mar 2002 08:03:23 -0000

[Date Prev] [Date Next] [Thread Prev] [Thread Next] [Date Index] [Thread Index]

spoon-business: New Rule: Beer Cans

{{ _What's Football without Beer?_



There's nothing like watching an exciting football game.  And this was nothing like it.  If the ball had been a seed it would have sprouted by now.


Perhaps it was because the teams were so small and the field was so big, but the game simply didn't seem to be going anywhere.  Or the ball...Bean was making some yardage, but got hit hard, and the other team was working on undoing his progress.



I looked, and sure enough, there was Luigi selling hot dogs.  Pinstripe suit, pointy shoes, a little paper hat and a much larger gremlin behind him with the tray.

"Hey Luigi!  Gimme a hot dog!"

He turned and looked me up and down. "Youse can afford it?"


"Not interested.  HOT DOGS!  GETCHER HOT DOGS!"

I sighed and sat down.  I thought about getting the Witch to turn him into a vulture...but realized that perhaps that had already happened.

At least there was some movement on the grid...My field glasses picked out Wonko, stalking around in a small area.  The radar dish on his helmet was sweeping in circles, occasionally pausing, then sweeping again.  I still wondered at how the commission allowed football players to treasure-hunt in the middle of a game; players must get truly terrible pay.  Following every sweep of the dish, Wonko looked like the stringbeans with the metal detectors at the beach, excitiedly digging up every bottle cap.

Radar...Wasn't there something about radar in World War II?  I dug out my PDA and checked out a history page.  Yes...tinfoil.  Japanese planes would drop bits of tinfoil to confuse radar.  The reflective metal would show up hot and bright on the screens.

Well, I didn't have any tinfoil.  Perhaps if I could actually get a hot dog out of Luigi I could use the wrapper...but it wouldn't have enough weight for throwing.  On the other hand...

"Hey Luigi!  Gimme a beer!"

"Youse can afford it?"

"Well, yeah, but..."

"Then whaddaya doin' at a crummy football game?  Ya lousy upper-middle with all yer money...Why ain't'cha at the Opera, drinkin' bubbly with the hoi polloi?"

"Because you can't throw things at the Opera."

He blinked.  "Throw things?"

"Yeah, throw things.  C'mon, Luigi, gimme a beer."

He thought about it a moment, then nodded to the goon, who handed me a can.  I chugged the contents in one smooth motion, crumpled the can, wound up and sent it flying in an arc onto the grid near Wonko.

"He see you do it?"  Luigi asked.

"Nope.  This should be good."

The can splatted into the mud.  The dish on Wonko's helmet whipped around, and Wonko with it.  Luigi and I watched as he frantically scooped at the mud...

The look on his face when he found the can simply couldn't be bought.

Luigi wheezed a laugh through his nose. "Heh-heh.  That's funny.  Ain't that funny, Guido?"

"Dat funny, boss."

"Heh-heh, yeah, that's really funny." He held out a hand. "Five points for the beer."

Oh, what the hell. "Put it on my tab."

"Now, that's the sorta thing I like to hear.  Guido, give the kid a hot dog.  On the house to a new customer."

I settled on the bench eating my hot dog as I sent off a recommendation to the game commission...


Create a new rule:

{{ _Beer Cans_

Players who are in Limbo can buy Beer for five points.  Drinking the Beer gives them a Beer Can.  A Beer Can is a passable MO.  Beer Cans can be thrown from Limbo onto the Grid, from one Grid location to another, or from a Grid location into Limbo.  A Player who possesses a Beer Can can also Dispose Of It Properly, thus destroying it.

A Beer Can cannot be seen when it is on the Grid and not being carried by a Player, unless a Player is in the same location as the Beer Can.  A Beer Can does cause a radar blip similar to (and similarly unidentifiable as) a Shiny Thing or a Dark Thing.

To throw a Beer Can at a Grid location, a Player privately communicates to the Administrator that e is throwing a Beer Can and where e wants it to land.



There, I thought as I hit "send".  That should make things more interesting for the spectators.