[spoon-discuss] Re: [Spoon-business] Introducing it!

["Glotmorf" <glotmorf@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

On 10/10/02 at 4:18 PM bd wrote:

>I propose the following:
>
>{{
>__IT__
>[[ Backstory in -discuss ]]
>Create the following Rule:
>{{
>__IT__
>There exists It.
>It's like a normal sock, but it blocks UV light
>It's a false moustache that's heavier than it looks, waters your plants
>and
>stays sharp forever.
>It's a Christmas tree that shoots laser beams!
>It's an iMac that's twenty feet tall!
>It's a newly-discovered breed of fish that can be used by several people
>at
>once!
>It's a briefcase that plays MP3s! It has been featured in Star Trek and
>can
>heat a small house
>It's a DVD player that's water-absorbent
>It's a saucepan that hangs upside-down from the ceiling and never gets
>tired.
>It's a barcode reader that looks bigger than it really is, can interface
>with
>your mobile phone and is slightly hallucinogenic.
>It's a suppository that improves upper-body muscle, is perfectly safe to
>use
>and uses human blood for fuel.
>It's a genetically-modified sheep that's powered by clockwork!
>It's a security camera! It dispenses tea or coffee!
>It's a small Brazillian child trained in the art of satisfaction!
>It's a razor that shouts 'WARNING!' at the first sign of danger! It emits
>harmful gases and is actually just a solid block of plastic.
>It's like a normal riot shield, but it follows a target of your choice.
>It's a small Brazillian child trained in the art of satisfaction!
>It's a trouser press that sends and receives text messages! It can
>communicate
>with your pogo stick and traps small animals.
>It's a video recorder! It increases your sex appeal!
>It's like a normal stick of chewing gum, but it knows your name.
>It's like swallowing a human skull, but with 98% fewer calories!
>It's a speaker system that swears! It dissolves in water.
>IT's a study of informtion and communication technologies!
>It's a soft-drink can that works underwater and glows at night.
>It's like a normal bicycle, but it talks.
>It's a tool for neutering dogs whilst nullifying any lawsuits!
>It's an energy drink that obeys simple instructions! It pushes things down
>staircases and gets +2 to kill undead.
>It's a lightbulb that tells you when people are lying! It has room for a
>pot
>plant inside and glows with an eerie green light.
>It's a patented method of running around in circles witout getting dizzy.
>It's a hi-fi that fires plastic darts, doesn't take no for an answer and
>has a
>mind of its own.
>It's a contraceptive device that works underwater! It must be replaced
>every
>morning.
>It's an earring that communicates via Instant Messenger! It hovers three
>feet
>from the ground and traps small animals.
>It's a webcam that improves your sex appeal!
>It's a rocket launcher! It traps mice in a humane fashion!
>It's a biro that can be used in zero-gravity! It is rustproof.
>It's a belt buckle that takes high-quality digital photos! It
>self-replicates.
>Its a Buddhist clock co-owned by the Dalai Llama and Nintendo, it tells
>you
>what life you're  on.
>It's a new type of vegetable that can be taken apart and reassembled in
>thirty
>seconds! It looks bigger than it really is.
>It's a hat that picks up Radio Four!
>It's a television set that picks up Channel Five, and puts it back down!
>It's a computer mouse that picks up Radio Four and believes itself to be
>self-aware.
>It's a towel! It can be taken on holiday!
>It's a jetpack that does away with household drudgery and emits harmful
>gases.
>It's a giant eyeball that was awoken by by your Mr. Squeekybobo Ball!
>It's a television set that doesn't always work! It glows at night.
>It's a Japanese school teacher who believes that saying "no" stifles
>individuality and leads to homosexual tendencies!
>It's a skateboard that makes virtually no noise whatsoever, plays the
>American
>national anthem and keeps food warm.
>It's a burger carton! It hovers three feet from the ground!
>It also dispenses something almost, but not entirely, unlike tea.
>
>}}
>
>Give half of the points from this proposal's passing to OrcInASpacesuit.
>
>}}

"It's a dessert topping!"
"It's a furniture polish!"
"It's a dessert topping!!"
"It's a furniture polish!!"
"Ladies, please...New Miracle-Glo is a dessert topping AND a furniture polish!"

- Old Saturday Night Live episode.

						Glotmorf


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