Baron von Skippy on 28 Jun 2003 03:11:01 -0000


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[Spoon-business] Burning the dead wood 

I propose:

{{
__Cleaning up__

This is an A La Carte proposal.

Part 1:
{{
[[
The flashes from the cameras was blinding. It was all he could do not to cover his eyes. The lights were hot on his face and chest, and a wool suit wasn't helping any. On any other day, any other press conference, he would have at least thought about these, and probably would have wondered why they could never air condition these things properly. Today he didn't notice. There were much larger problems in his mind. Such as how to get out of the room without a crowd of stockholders mobbing him. "Thank you for all coming today," he started. The low buzz of conversation died down and a hundred faces looked up at him expectantly over cameras and notepads. "As you all know, over the past two nyears, von Skippy Overproduction, Inc. has been suffering losses in all eight fiscal quarters. Sales are down, and with them, stock prices. Our accounting department has informed the board of directors that, quite simply, we cannot afford to pay the salaries of our employees for this upcoming nyear, much less continue shipping Gnomes at a loss. As such, vSOI is today announcung that it will file for Title 11 bankruptcy." As he went on with his speech, he wondered why he was making the announcement instead of someone higher up. A small concern, but it seemed like the sort of thing the CEO should be doing...
A young captain walked up to the Baron and handed him a clipboard. The Baron glanced at it briefly, scanning its contents, and handed it back, nodding to the captain, who hurried away to shout commands at a group of troopers moving crates. "We're still on schedule?" It wasn't really a question, more a statement of how things must be. "So it would seem, Commander. Your men certainly seem well-prepared to evacuate a base." Commander Campion let the jest slide past him. "What exactly are we going to do now, sir? We can't last more than a few nweeks on our current funds, and we're not looking at a lot more disposable income any time soon." "Trim sails and survive, Commander, you know that. I'm sure sooner or later we can find an outlet for your men's skills, although perhaps not in such a legitimate setting." 
     "You mean as... mercenaries?"
"Don't be so disgusted by it. There's good money in fighting other people's battles." "I'm not disgusted, more concerned. Most of our prospective employers have had visits from us in the past." The Baron patted the side of one of the massive IID transports with a chuckle. "You mean we've stolen or blown up, and often both, some of their holdings? We might actually be able to use that on our resumes, you know." 
     "But if they ever figure it out..."
"They won't. M-Tek is getting a little close to the truth, I'll admit, but why would they connect vSOI and a merc company? Same for WBE. Glotmorf's a wily old bastard, I'll admit, but that's a leap of faith no one's going to take. Besides," he said, jerking a thumb in the direction of four speeders laden with lasers and missiles, "we're more than well-enough armed to deal with any pitchfork-waving angry mobs." Campion looked as though he were going to say something else, but BvS cut him off. "I understand your concern, Commander. Believe me, I'm not sure this will work out either, but we really don't have any other choice. Now, I've got to get back to the office so people don't get too suspicious." 
     "Of course. Have to keep up appearances, don't we?"
     "I want to be remembered as working hard to the last."
     "That being around midnight, yes?"
"Make sure to get me out of the building before you destroy it, would you? I've seen the men writing messages on the bomb you'll be using. I'd like to make sure they don't cause any collateral damage while they live out a dream of blowing up the general's office." 
     "I wouldn't know what you're talking about, sir."
The Baron shook his head, smiling, as he walked towards the miniature IID pod he used for personal transport. 

****************************************************************
Court record for case 501537 - inquiry into events at vSOI office building on 44/3
11:07 - Night guard in building notices a light on in Baron von Skippy's office, but ignores it because "I knew he must be working late, what with the company going bankrupt and all. He must have had a lot of paperwork or something." 11:53 - Cargo speeder lands on pad on roof of building. Guard on duty at front gate assumes speeder is delivering office supplies (apparently a fairly common event), but does not check with flight control operations. 
12:00 - Shift change at guard posts, but not at flight control.
12:01 - Arriving guards look at cameras and see BvS in eir office, working at eir computer. 
12:03 - Cargo speeder lifts off from roof of building.
12:06 - vSOI office builiding demolished by Whoopass-based explosion. Police Gremlin teams find no trace of BvS. A spokesgremlin says afterwards "Not that you'd expect to find a lot of bodies in that mess. We did find one little puddle of what looked like random strings of DNA, which is probably all that's left of some poor sap." 
****************************************************************

Choose your own adventure!
If you want vSOI ruined and vSET in hiding with a LOT of weapons, vote YES!
If you want vSOI intact and making lots of money, you're out of luck!
If you want it that way anyway, vote NO and buy some Gnomes!
If you're totally apathetic, ABSTAIN!
If none of the above apply, CONFORM!
]]
In Rule 154 [[Dimensions]], remove the text "All Gnomes are destroyed; weather gnomes destroyed in this way do not cause an update of the weather" from subsection B.6.
Remove sections E.4.5 [[Sheep Gnomes and Ancient Monoliths]] and F.6 [[Towels]] from Rule 301.
Also from Rule 301, remove the text "If it or its location is hit by a thrown Bomb Gnome, it is unaffected" in section E.6 and "If the player has any Gnomes in eir possession, those Gnomes all become Basic Gnomes with three hit points each." from section E.8.
In Rule 405 [[Weather]], replace both occurrences of "1d11" in subsection C.2 with "1d10," and remove subsection C.2.7, renumbering the remaining subsections accordingly. 

Repeal Rule 441 [[Gnomes]].
In Rule 625 [[Ministries]], remove subsection C.7, renumbering remaining subsections accordingly.
In Rule 698 [[Insta-Rules]], remove the text " | gnomes" in the second paragraph.
In Rule 705 [[Bonus Boxes]], remove the text "any Gnomes in eir possession are destroyed, " from subsection B.4, "Gnomes and " from subsection B.5, and subsections B.8 and B.9. 

Repeal Rule 748 [[Overseas Gnomes]].

Repeal Rule 850 [[Gnomes on Sale]].
Amend the text "Any player may pay 30 points to vSOI to buy an Airspeeder, or 20 points if the player is a member of vSOI." in Rule 1071 [[Airspeeders]] to read "Any player may pay 500 BNS to the Admin to buy an Airspeeder."
Also in Rule 1071, remove the text "When a bomb gnome explodes on a square occupied by a Speeder, that Speeder loses 14 points of integrity."
Deactivate Rule 1183 [[The Infinite Improbablilty Drive]]. [[I want to keep the thing, but the method for getting IIDs will have to be fixed. Any thoughts, anyone?]]
Rename 1341.B.6.1 "Defense Platforms" and replace the first paragraph of that subsection with: The platforms in this subsection may target an enemy of a type defined under (TARGET) which is between (MIN) and (MAX) spaces away, (RATE) times per nweek, no more than once per target per nweek, dealing damage as though it were an army with (ATK) Attack Power and 1 Strength. Each costs the purchasing entity (BNS) BNS and (RU) RUs. If the purchasing entity does not have enough BNS or RUs, the sale is cancelled 

In Rule 1342 [[The Groundhog]], replace "Gnomes" with "Sulfur."
In Rule 1469 [[Proto-Ice Bombs]], remove "or Gnomes" from the last sentence of the comment text in the third item of section B, and remove the sixth and eigth bulleted items of that section.
Remove the fourth paragraph of Rule 1503 [[Mass]], and the following items on the list of masses: 
Towel: 3 (Dry)
Towel: 10 (Wet)
Gnome: 10 [[Those in bags count as 0, see above]]

Remove all members of vSOI from vSOI and destroy its charter.
}}

Part 2:
{{
Add a subsection to
Rename the society "von Skippy Experimental Technologies" "vSET."
Replace the vSET charter with:
{{
A. The Leader and Anonymity
One member of vSET is the Leader of vSET. All members of vSET except the Leader are anonymous. Only the Administrators and the members of vSET will have access to a complete list of vSET members. 

B. Joining vSET
In oder to join vSET, members must perform the following actions I propose:

{{
__Cleaning up__

This is an A La Carte proposal.

Part 1:
{{
[[
The flashes from the cameras was blinding. It was all he could do not to cover his eyes. The lights were hot on his face and chest, and a wool suit wasn't helping any. On any other day, any other press conference, he would have at least thought about these, and probably would have wondered why they could never air condition these things properly. Today he didn't notice. There were much larger problems in his mind. Such as how to get out of the room without a crowd of stockholders mobbing him. "Thank you for all coming today," he started. The low buzz of conversation died down and a hundred faces looked up at him expectantly over cameras and notepads. "As you all know, over the past two nyears, von Skippy Overproduction, Inc. has been suffering losses in all eight fiscal quarters. Sales are down, and with them, stock prices. Our accounting department has informed the board of directors that, quite simply, we cannot afford to pay the salaries of our employees for this upcoming nyear, much less continue shipping Gnomes at a loss. As such, vSOI is today announcung that it will file for Title 11 bankruptcy." As he went on with his speech, he wondered why he was making the announcement instead of someone higher up. A small concern, but it seemed like the sort of thing the CEO should be doing...
A young captain walked up to the Baron and handed him a clipboard. The Baron glanced at it briefly, scanning its contents, and handed it back, nodding to the captain, who hurried away to shout commands at a group of troopers moving crates. "We're still on schedule?" It wasn't really a question, more a statement of how things must be. "So it would seem, Commander. Your men certainly seem well-prepared to evacuate a base." Commander Campion let the jest slide past him. "What exactly are we going to do now, sir? We can't last more than a few nweeks on our current funds, and we're not looking at a lot more disposable income any time soon." "Trim sails and survive, Commander, you know that. I'm sure sooner or later we can find an outlet for your men's skills, although perhaps not in such a legitimate setting." 
     "You mean as... mercenaries?"
"Don't be so disgusted by it. There's good money in fighting other people's battles." "I'm not disgusted, more concerned. Most of our prospective employers have had visits from us in the past." The Baron patted the side of one of the massive IID transports with a chuckle. "You mean we've stolen or blown up, and often both, some of their holdings? We might actually be able to use that on our resumes, you know." 
     "But if they ever figure it out..."
"They won't. M-Tek is getting a little close to the truth, I'll admit, but why would they connect vSOI and a merc company? Same for WBE. Glotmorf's a wily old bastard, I'll admit, but that's a leap of faith no one's going to take. Besides," he said, jerking a thumb in the direction of four speeders laden with lasers and missiles, "we're more than well-enough armed to deal with any pitchfork-waving angry mobs." Campion looked as though he were going to say something else, but BvS cut him off. "I understand your concern, Commander. Believe me, I'm not sure this will work out either, but we really don't have any other choice. Now, I've got to get back to the office so people don't get too suspicious." 
     "Of course. Have to keep up appearances, don't we?"
     "I want to be remembered as working hard to the last."
     "That being around midnight, yes?"
"Make sure to get me out of the building before you destroy it, would you? I've seen the men writing messages on the bomb you'll be using. I'd like to make sure they don't cause any collateral damage while they live out a dream of blowing up the general's office." 
     "I wouldn't know what you're talking about, sir."
The Baron shook his head, smiling, as he walked towards the miniature IID pod he used for personal transport. 

****************************************************************
Court record for case 501537 - inquiry into events at vSOI office building on 44/3
11:07 - Night guard in building notices a light on in Baron von Skippy's office, but ignores it because "I knew he must be working late, what with the company going bankrupt and all. He must have had a lot of paperwork or something." 11:53 - Cargo speeder lands on pad on roof of building. Guard on duty at front gate assumes speeder is delivering office supplies (apparently a fairly common event), but does not check with flight control operations. 
12:00 - Shift change at guard posts, but not at flight control.
12:01 - Arriving guards look at cameras and see BvS in eir office, working at eir computer. 
12:03 - Cargo speeder lifts off from roof of building.
12:06 - vSOI office builiding demolished by Whoopass-based explosion. Police Gremlin teams find no trace of BvS. A spokesgremlin says afterwards "Not that you'd expect to find a lot of bodies in that mess. We did find one little puddle of what looked like random strings of DNA, which is probably all that's left of some poor sap." 
****************************************************************

Choose your own adventure!
If you want vSOI ruined and vSET in hiding with a LOT of weapons, vote YES!
If you want vSOI intact and making lots of money, you're out of luck!
If you want it that way anyway, vote NO and buy some Gnomes!
If you're totally apathetic, ABSTAIN!
If none of the above apply, CONFORM!
]]
In Rule 154 [[Dimensions]], remove the text "All Gnomes are destroyed; weather gnomes destroyed in this way do not cause an update of the weather" from subsection B.6.
Remove sections E.4.5 [[Sheep Gnomes and Ancient Monoliths]] and F.6 [[Towels]] from Rule 301.
Also from Rule 301, remove the text "If it or its location is hit by a thrown Bomb Gnome, it is unaffected" in section E.6 and "If the player has any Gnomes in eir possession, those Gnomes all become Basic Gnomes with three hit points each." from section E.8.
In Rule 405 [[Weather]], replace both occurrences of "1d11" in subsection C.2 with "1d10," and remove subsection C.2.7, renumbering the remaining subsections accordingly. 

Repeal Rule 441 [[Gnomes]].
In Rule 625 [[Ministries]], remove subsection C.7, renumbering remaining subsections accordingly.
In Rule 698 [[Insta-Rules]], remove the text " | gnomes" in the second paragraph.
In Rule 705 [[Bonus Boxes]], remove the text "any Gnomes in eir possession are destroyed, " from subsection B.4, "Gnomes and " from subsection B.5, and subsections B.8 and B.9. 

Repeal Rule 748 [[Overseas Gnomes]].

Repeal Rule 850 [[Gnomes on Sale]].
Amend the text "Any player may pay 30 points to vSOI to buy an Airspeeder, or 20 points if the player is a member of vSOI." in Rule 1071 [[Airspeeders]] to read "Any player may pay 500 BNS to the Admin to buy an Airspeeder."
Also in Rule 1071, remove the text "When a bomb gnome explodes on a square occupied by a Speeder, that Speeder loses 14 points of integrity."
Deactivate Rule 1183 [[The Infinite Improbablilty Drive]]. [[I want to keep the thing, but the method for getting IIDs will have to be fixed. Any thoughts, anyone?]]
Rename 1341.B.6.1 "Defense Platforms" and replace the first paragraph of that subsection with: The platforms in this subsection may target an enemy of a type defined under (TARGET) which is between (MIN) and (MAX) spaces away, (RATE) times per nweek, no more than once per target per nweek, dealing damage as though it were an army with (ATK) Attack Power and 1 Strength. Each costs the purchasing entity (BNS) BNS and (RU) RUs. If the purchasing entity does not have enough BNS or RUs, the sale is cancelled 

In Rule 1342 [[The Groundhog]], replace "Gnomes" with "Sulfur."
In Rule 1469 [[Proto-Ice Bombs]], remove "or Gnomes" from the last sentence of the comment text in the third item of section B, and remove the sixth and eigth bulleted items of that section.
Remove the fourth paragraph of Rule 1503 [[Mass]], and the following items on the list of masses: 
Towel: 3 (Dry)
Towel: 10 (Wet)
Gnome: 10 [[Those in bags count as 0, see above]]

Remove all members of vSOI from vSOI and destroy its charter.
}}

Part 2:
{{
Destroy the society named "von Skippy Experimental Technologies."

Create a Society with the name "vSET" and the following charter:
{{
A. The Leader and Anonymity
One member of vSET is known as the Leader of vSET. The player who has been a member of vSET the longest is the Leader of vSET. The Leader of vSET is responsible for maintaining a list of all members of vSET. Only the Administrator and members of vSET have access to the list of members of vSET, although the identity of the Leader of vSET is public knowledge. 

B. Joining vSET
Players may apply to join vSET by sending a private message to the Leader, who will consult the other members of vSET for a private vote. If at least 2/3 of the members of vSET agree to accept the applicant's request, the applicant becomes a member of vSET. 

C. vSET Solidarity
Members of vSET may not perform serious hostile actions towards one another. The term "serious hostile actions" will be defined by convention and precedent. If a member knowingly performs a seriously hostile action towards another member, it will be up to the uninvolved members of vSET to determine consequences, which are binding. Consequences should avoid any actions which would make a player's membership in vSET obvious, including the posting of out-of-character messages and ousting offending members.
The previous paragraph may be ignored by an agreement among vSET members previous to the hostile actions being taken.
In addition, vSET members should, whenever possible, conspire to cooperate for the good of vSET and themselves. 

D. Leaving vSET
vSET members can quit at any time, providing they first promise to the members of vSET to not inform any other players of the membership of vSET or that they have left it. Players who break this promise may expect retaliation and general nastiness from vSET. vSET may oust a member if at least 3/4 of vSET members agree to oust that member, although this is strongly advised against. 
}}
If e is not already, make the player who made this proposal a member of vSET. 
}}

[[BvS]]

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