[spoon-discuss] Backstory

[bd <bdonlan@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

#aglami - a few minutes ago:
--- Pixel is now known as Pixel|reading_aglami
<Keshu> creditcardsdon'tcomeintins
<Keiran> It's like a normal mousemat, but it can pick locks. 
<Atob> * Pixel slaps OrcInASpacesuit
<Atob> --- Pixel is now known as Pixel|reading_aglami
<Atob> <Keshu> creditcardsdon'tcomeintins
<Atob> <Keiran> It's like a normal mousema
<Keshu> It's like a normal sock, but it blocks UV light
<Keiran> It's a false moustache that's heavier than it looks, waters your 
plants and stays sharp forever. 
<Keiran> I want one of them
<Keiran> It's a Christmas tree that shoots laser beams! 
<Keiran> YOU want one of THEM
<OrcInASpacesuit> It's an iMac that's twenty feet tall!
<Keiran> It's a newly-discovered breed of fish that can be used by several 
people at once! 
<OrcInASpacesuit> It's a briefcase that plays MP3s! It has been featured in 
Star Trek and can heat a small house. 
<Keiran> It's a DVD player that's water-absorbent! 
<bd_> It's a Mitnick Gremlin!
<OrcInASpacesuit> That's the ultimate for an undergrad
<Jon> It's bd_! Oh, that's not so great.
<Keiran> It's a saucepan that hangs upside-down from the ceiling and never 
gets tired. 
<OrcInASpacesuit> It's a barcode reader that looks bigger than it really is, 
can interface with your mobile phone and is slightly hallucinogenic. 
<Keiran> It's a suppository that improves upper-body muscle, is perfectly safe 
to use and uses human blood for fuel. 
<Jon> K IM SHOKIN U NOW
<bd_> In short, it's a vampire?
<Jon> BOO!
<Keiran> i want the barcode reader
--- Jon is now known as Jonspace
<Jonspace> Me too.
<Keiran> It's a pudding that works at any altitude! It is bigger on the inside 
than the outside and makes money fast. 
<Keshu> It's a bracelet that glows at night, removes stubborn stains and is 
powered by a single hamster. 
<Keiran> It's a housebrick that hasn't gone on any murderous rampages yet! 
<Atob> It's a new MUD client that can't fail to improve your love life!
<OrcInASpacesuit> It's a bicycle that has adverts on the side, rotates at high 
speed and lasts for up to a week. 
* Keshu gives one to Atob
<Atob> Thanks.
<Keshu> streasure it, my dear
<bd_> It's a fortune file that describes itself!
* Keshu runs away
<bd_> /it eats atob
<bd_> It's hungry!
<Atob> I'd like to point out that The Matrix is on the television.
<Keiran> It's a genetically-modified sheep that's powered by clockwork! 
<OrcInASpacesuit> It's a security camera! It dispenses tea or coffee! 
<Jonspace> All those in favour, say aye.
<Atob> It's a small Brazillian child trained in the art of satisfaction!
<Keiran> It's a razor that shouts 'WARNING!' at the first sign of danger! It 
emits harmful gases and is actually just a solid block of plastic. 
<bd_> It also dispenses something almost, but not entirely, unlike tea.
<Atob> Oh, that's your mother.
<bd_> true
<OrcInASpacesuit> aye
<Jonspace> Thanks.
<Atob> wlcm
<Keiran> It's like a normal riot shield, but it follows a target of your 
choice. 
--- Keshu has changed the topic to: <Atob> It's a small Brazillian child 
trained in the art of satisfaction!
<OrcInASpacesuit> I want one of them
<Keiran> It's a freezer that responds to temperature changes! 
* bd_ writes up a proposal
<bd_> :)
<Keshu> brb, having a wee
<Atob> It has several revolutionary features, such as being able to cut a cat 
in half with it only losing a THIRD of its lives!
<Atob> A WEE WHAT
<Atob> AHAHA
<Atob> SEE
<Atob> RUN TRINITY
<Atob> YOU IDIOT
<Atob> OMFG
<Atob> WILL SHE DIE
<Atob> I CANT WATCH
<Atob> She didn't die, don't worry.
<Keiran> It's a trouser press that sends and receives text messages! It can 
communicate with your pogo stick and traps small animals. 
<Atob> You're being silly.
<OrcInASpacesuit> Like a one-eyed snake?
<Atob> Trouser snack.
<Keiran> It's a video recorder! It increases your sex appeal! 
<Keshu> It's like a normal stick of chewing gum, but it knows your name. 
<Atob> It's like swallowing a human skull, but with 98% fewer calories!
<Keshu> It's a speaker system that swears! It dissolves in water. 
<Atob> IT's a study of informtion and communication technologies!
<Keshu> It's a soft-drink can that works underwater and glows at night. 
<Keiran> It's like a normal bicycle, but it talks. 
<Atob> It's a tool for neutering dogs whilst nullifying any lawsuits!
<Keiran> It's an energy drink that obeys simple instructions! It pushes things 
down staircases and gets +2 to kill undead. 
<OrcInASpacesuit> lol
<Keiran> It's a lightbulb that tells you when people are lying! It has room 
for a pot plant inside and glows with an eerie green light. 
<Atob> It's a patented method of running around in circles witout getting 
dfizzy.
<Pixel|reading_aglami> Hurg...
<OrcInASpacesuit> It's a hi-fi that fires plastic darts, doesn't take no for 
an answer and has a mind of its own. 
<-- Pixel|reading_aglami has quit (Quit: Rebooting Reality)
<Keiran> It's a contraceptive device that works underwater! It must be 
replaced every morning. 
<bd_> good idea, pixel
<Keshu> It's an earring that communicates via Instant Messenger! It hovers 
three feet from the ground and traps small animals. 
<OrcInASpacesuit> It's a webcam that improves your sex appeal!
<Keshu> ah, see, I invented that AGES ago
<Keiran> It's a rocket launcher! It traps mice in a humane fashion! 
<Atob> YEAH
<Atob> SO DID I
<Keshu> yeah fucking right
* Keshu shares the royalties with Atob
<Keiran> It's a biro that can be used in zero-gravity! It is rustproof. 
<OrcInASpacesuit> It's a belt buckle that takes high-quality digital photos! 
It self-replicates. 
<OrcInASpacesuit> But what if you put it on backwards?
<Atob> Its a Buddhist clock co-owned by the Dalai Llama and Nintendo, it tells 
you what life you're  on.
<Keshu> It's a new type of vegetable that can be taken apart and reassembled 
in thirty seconds! It looks bigger than it really is. 
<Atob> I have some suspsicious stain on my trousers.
<Keiran> It's a hat that picks up Radio Four! 
* OrcInASpacesuit doesn't want to know
<Atob> It's a television set that picks up Channel Five!
<bd_> And puts it back down!
<Keiran> It's a computer mouse that picks up Radio Four and believes itself to 
be self-aware. 
<Keiran> It's a jetpack that does away with household drudgery and emits 
harmful gases. 
<Keiran> It's a towel! It can be taken on holiday! 
<Keshu> deblon's towel?
<OrcInASpacesuit> It's a giant eyeball that was awoken by by your Mr. 
Squeekybobo Ball!
<Keshu> and irritable towel?
<Keiran> It's a television set that doesn't always work! It glows at night. 
<Atob> It's a Japanese school teacher who believes that saying "no" stifles 
individuality and leads to homosexual tendencies!
<Keshu> okay, I'm BORED of this now
<Keiran> It's a skateboard that makes virtually no noise whatsoever, plays the 
American national anthem and keeps food warm. 
<OrcInASpacesuit> was, a while agao
<Keiran> It's a burger carton! It hovers three feet from the ground! 
<OrcInASpacesuit> Atob always thinks of the best ones
<Keiran> atob was thinking though.
<OrcInASpacesuit> yes
<Atob> I wasn't.
<Atob> I never think.

--- END (finally!) ---

-- 
bd
Unfair animal names:

-- tsetse fly			-- bullhead
-- booby			-- duck-billed platypus
-- sapsucker			-- Clarence
		-- Gary Larson

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