[Spoon-business] Things that would chill you to the Grid

["Orc In A Spacesuit" <orcinaspacesuit@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

[[
Orc in a Spacesuit muttered under his breath.

The reports were on his desk.  He sighed, and looked over them again.

First, marketing wanted to rename the darn things, and to make matters 
worse, the Baron agreed with them.  To top things off, it was all his fault 
for just listening to Gluk and using his rediculous name in the first place. 
 He sighed as he filled in the paperwork authorizing the name change.

In addition, the Baron had also been right about the multitude of spelling 
errors.  That espresso was just not right.  And now the Baron had 
embarrassed him twice.  He crumpled up the report and tossed it away 
angrily.

Next were the internal reports.  Gluk reported that although the Boomcages 
hadn't changed size from his original estimates (or wild guesses, depending 
on how you looked at it), the process of making them was very wasteful, in 
order to make them mildly durable while still flexible.  Orc growled at this 
as he read it again.  He didn't want to pass the increased cost on after 
he'd already announced a price.  Looked like OrcTech would have to bite the 
bullet on this one.  Well, at least at the beginning.  He could call it an 
introductory price at the beginning.  Orc smiled for the first time since 
entering the office.  He scowled again when he saw scanned down to the 
section detailing how the effects would collapse when encountering 
uncontrolled entropic forces, and snorted where he saw that they had 
forgotten to mention the facts that the darn things were portable and that 
ice actually makes a place cold.

Next, there was a note that one of the testers had armed a Boomcage with one 
of the new bombs and lost it somewhere on the Grid, and was likely to go off 
at any time.  A PR disaster ready to happen.  But not if he put out a public 
service announcement first, warning everyone to not enter an area where one 
explodes, and not to worry if you are in the area when it does; for, it only 
affects you on entry, and in fact inside the field is safer than anywhere 
else.

Finally, there was some good news.  First, Gluk had found a way to amplify 
the altered physics of the new bombs further, causing even the harshest of 
forces to be shunted away or even completely suppressed.  This new stage in 
physics-altering technology would be more intensive to make, but could be 
profitable.

The other good news came from the Boomcage people, who reported that they 
had developed some security measures to keep others from detecting the 
triggering conditions.

Orc took a final look at the revised report of the incident:
]]
(The only changes to the story part of the proposal are spelling and 
grammar, so just skip to the juicy part if you want.  I put the new story 
stuff first so it wouldn't add to the proposal length and/or make things 
confusing as hell.)
Change the entirety of the proposal __Unlikely Icecapades__ to:
{{
[[
It was a dark and story night.

Or rather, it was the end of one.  Activity was returning to the grid, the 
sun was breaking over the grid, and someone felt a need for coffee.

Orc in a Spacesuit, however, did not have anyway.  The nearest coffee, or 
what would have to pass for it, was on the ground in the distance to the 
east.

Orc climbed into his speeder, where Gluk, his half-crazed, half-genius 
mechanic was tinkering with something, which he quickly put away.

"Can I drive today boss?"
"Not today.  I don't think the company could afford you at the helm of 
anything again for a while, not after last time.  Especially considering 
that the labs are behind schedule on producing anything profitable."  Gluk 
winced.

Orc eased the airspeeder up, glad for the adaptations that let his hands man 
the controls effectively.  It was good to be piloting again, even if it 
wasn't through space.  And such a beautiful day for it!  Now for some 
coffee.

"Gluk, could you grab that gnome as we sweep by?"

Gluk nodded, and climbed outside, then reached down toward the ground 
speeding past.  An espresso gnome, grinning towards the rising sun, zoomed 
towards him.  He snatched up the gnome, climbed back into the speeder, and 
tossed the gnome towards the back of Orc's head.  Orc turned at the sound 
and caught the gnome just in time, growling at the aim.  Gluk shrunk back 
and muttered a weak, "Oops."  Orc quickly forgot about it as he tucked the 
gnome into a pouch, and turned back to the joy of flying.  He saw the Temple 
of Apophis ahead, and settled on it as the place to enjoy his morning 
coffee.  Or this esprawhatever.

Suddenly, he slipped.  He slipped forward, but his speeder slipped forward 
even faster.  He slipped right out of the back of the speeder, as well as 
everything else in the speeder, and even what he carried slipped from him.  
He last saw the grinning espresso gnome flipping though the air when he 
blanked out.

He woke up.  It couldn't have been too long; the speeder, from what he could 
see as he lay in the turf, was still in motion, or at least a piece of wing. 
 It was tenuously attached by a single cable, and continued to rock back 
and forth.

He sat up.  "Gluk!"
"Yes boss?"
Orc twisted around.  Gluk was standing there.  "What the krutz just 
happened?"
"We slipped."
"We slipped?"
"We slipped."
"What do you mean, we slipped?  Look at this!  Look at my empty pouches!"  
Orc put his hands in side pockets.  They felt a bit slippery and cold for a 
moment, but quickly returned to normal.  "Why are we not at the temple 
drinking coffee and enjoying the morning?"
"We hit a patch of ice.  And when things enter an area with ice, they slip 
forward."
Orc was speechless for a moment.  Gluk must have gone over the deep end for 
real this time.  But then he noticed movement to the west.  Yes, there it 
was:  a shrinking patch of ice!  It was disappearing so quickly, it was gone 
in a few moments.  "What the...."
"It seems that the ice here has some unusual properties.  And not just this 
ice, but I believe that all ice does.  It can extrapolate its surface 
friction, or lack of it rather, multi-dimensionally."
"Meaning?"
"That everything that enters the area suddenly becomes very slippery, and is 
thrust violently forward.  And since everything is moved independently by 
it, it's all forced out of your possession.  Or the speeder's possession, as 
the case may be.  You see, as each thing has a different mass, it's acted 
upon by these forces differently as the ice-driven physics..."
"Enough.  I get the point.  What I want to know is, can we fix it?"
"I believe so.  I'll need a bit of time in the lab, and we'll need to get 
the approval of the Environmental Board.  About an nweek."
"Do it.  I don't want anything happening like this again."
]]
In Rule 301, A.3.1, replace
"When a MO enters a Frozen square from any consecutive square, it is 
immediately moved an additional unit in the same direction, if possible."
with
"When an MO other than an Airspeeder, an Airborne object, or any object 
contained or possessed by another enters a Frozen location from any adjacent 
location, the MO continues to move in the same direction if there is a 
location to move to in the location, and it is legal for the MO to enter 
that location."
[[
"Sounds good.  Make it work.  Hey... while you're at it, do you think you 
could find a way to duplicate this effect?"
Gluk stood for a moment, eyes unfocused, then he nodded slowly.  "I think 
so..., yes I don't see why not."
"Excellent.  Could you make it portable?"
"Sure."
"Oh, and see if you can make it stronger too."
]]
Create the following rule:
{{__Proto-Ice Bombs__
A. Definition
There may exist carry able throwable MO's named Proto-Ice Bombs, which may 
be called Ice Cubes.  There may also exist carry able throwable MO's named 
Meta-Ice Bombs, which may be called Ice Spheres.  Ice Cubes and Ice Spheres 
may be activated by any object in the same location in them if they are not 
carried or possessed, or by any object possessing or carrying them.  They 
may only be activated when they are on the Grid.  When an Ice Cube is 
activated, its location becomes Proto-Frozen for 1 nweek.  When an Ice 
Sphere is activated, its location becomes Meta-Frozen for 1 nweek.

B. The Deep Freeze
Locations that are Proto-Frozen are treated as if they are Frozen, with the 
following exceptions:
* It does not cease to be Proto-Frozen until 1 nweek passes from the most 
recent effect caused it to be Proto-Frozen, an Entropy Explosion occurs, or 
an Ancient Monolith is destroyed in the location of an adjacent location.
* It does not become Wet as a result of being Proto-Frozen.
* When any object enters or is created in a Proto-Frozen location, it is 
removed from any containers it may be in, and from the possession of any 
objects that may possess it.  Each object then continues to move in the same 
direction if there is a location to move to in that direction, and it is 
legal for the MO to enter that location.  If there is no such location or 
the location contains an impassible object (but not if there is a location 
and it just isn't legal), a random one of the adjacent locations is chosen, 
and instead all entering object are then moved to that location, if 
possible.  If any objects still can't be moved, they stay put.  [[You enter 
the location, you keep going, if you bump into something you might bounce, 
might be deflected, whatever.  Also note that this applies to anything 
entering, even Big Rocks or Gnomes that come out of Hiding; they get shunted 
randomly.]]
* If any object would Land in a location that is Proto-Frozen, it does not, 
but instead Lands in a random one of the adjacent locations that most 
closely matches the original trajectory of the path of the thrown object; if 
the trajectory does not exist, it instead Lands in a random adjacent 
location.
* The location may not be mined.
* The location is treated as if an Ice Gnome were in it.  If a location is 
affected by the temperature-changing properties of more than one 
Proto-Frozen location, these effects do not stack, and instead the greatest 
single change is applied.

Being Meta-Frozen functions identically to being Proto-Frozen, with the 
following additions:
* If the location would become substance Fire, it does not, and instead a 
random adjacent location becomes substance Fire.
* If a Bomb Gnome would explode in the location, it does not.
* If a Can of Whoopass would be Cracked open in the location, it does not.
* If a KEMOSABE Missile detonates in the location, the effects that would 
normally occur in the location instead occur in all adjacent locations, and 
if any of the adjacent locations are themselves Meta-Frozen, they too shunt 
the effects to all adjacent locations, excepting those that have already 
been affected by the Missile or have already shunted the Missile's effects.  
[[Essentially, KEMOSABE overloads the suppressive field, and with the 
twisted physics, gets sent everywhere nearby.]]
* If a Force Ability targets a Meta-Frozen location, it instead targets a 
random adjacent location, regardless of if the new target could be legally 
chosen.  If a Force Ability targets an object in a Meta-Frozen location, 
instead a random adjacent location is chosen, and a random legal target in 
that location, if any, is instead targeted.  It is legal for an object 
otherwise out of range to be targeted by this.  This section supercedes rule 
815.  [[So you can't target the square, but could get one normally out of 
your range.  Also note that Force Pulling, etc, puts an item in a location, 
and this rule causes that effect to be supplanted with the item you're 
trying to get flying elsewhere, with either kind of frozen.]]
* No Gremlin may target, choose, or perform any action on any object in the 
location, unless that Gremlin is in the same location.
* Destruction may not be Wreaked on any player in the location.
[[
"Excellent.  Even better than I had hoped.  These could even have defensive 
applications.  Now, to get production started..."
"Well, that poses a bit of a problem."
"Eh?"
"Well, you see, we won't be able to produce them quickly.  Too fast, and 
we'll strain the physics of this place too much.  You've read the DimShip 
reports."
"Yes, I know what you mean.  Well, do what you can."
]]
C. Purchasing
Entities may purchase an Ice Cube by paying 15 Points to OrcTech, provided 
OrcTech has at least 5 RU's and a total of no more than 5 Ice Cubes have 
been created (via any means) during the current nweek.  Such purchasing 
decreases OrcTech's RU's by 5 and creates the Ice Sphere in the entity's 
possession, or, if the entity is not in a location, at the location of a 
Service Mall of the Entity's choice.  If the entity has no location and 
there are no service Malls, it is instead created in Limbo.

Entities may purchase an Ice Sphere by paying 50 Points to OrcTech, provided 
OrcTech has at least 50 RU's and a total of no Ice Spheres have been created 
(via any means) during the current nweek.  Such purchasing decreases 
OrcTech's RU's by 50 and points by 20 [[additional cost]] and creates the 
Ice Sphere in the entity's possession, or, if the entity is not in a 
location, at the location of a Service Mall of the Entity's choice.  If the 
entity has no location and there are no service Malls, it is instead created 
in Limbo.
}}
[[
"Yes, well that'll work well enough.  Hmm, you couldn't really use these 
offensively, though; what we need is a delivery system."
]]
Create the following rule:
{{__Payload Delivery__
A. Definition
There may exist carryable throwable MO's named Boomcages.  Any entity may 
place a Gnome, Can of Whoopass, Ice Cube, or Ice Sphere e possesses into any 
empty Boomcage that e possesses.  Any Entity may take any object from any 
unarmed Boomcage e possesses.

B. Arming and Triggering
Any Entity may Arm any unarmed Boomcage e possesses, naming a unit of time, 
in ndays, and/or naming a Low or High Sensitivity.  If e wishes, e may 
simply state that e is arming the Boomcage publicly, and specify the time 
and/or sensitivity privately to the administrator.  [[So others don't know 
just when it'll go off.]]

A Boomcage triggers once one of the following happens:
The amount of time specified at arming passes.
If Low or High Sensitivity was specified when it was armed, the Boomcage 
Lands, is the subject of Standard Abuse, or is hit by any speeder weapon.
If High Sensitivity was specified when it was armed, if any object enters 
its location (and just prior to that entry).

C. Detonating (Or drink dispensing)
When it is triggered, the Boomcage then simultaneously does each of the 
following that is possible to all objects it contains:  It squeezes, Cracks 
Open, and activates them, as if it were a player, and gains possession of 
any objects created as a result.  The Boomcage then ceases to be armed.  If 
a Can of Whoopass is Cracked Open in a Boomcage, the Boomcage is destroyed.

D. Purchasing
Entities may purchase a Boomcage by paying 5 Points to OrcTech, provided 
OrcTech has at least 5 RU.  Such purchasing decreases OrcTech's RU's by 5 
and creates the Boomcage in the entity's possession, or, if the entity is 
not in a location, at the location of a Service Mall of the Entity's choice. 
 If the entity has no location and there are no service Malls, it is 
instead created in Limbo.
}}
[[
"Yes, this will do quite nicely.  Versatile, configurable, and durable.  All 
except for that Whoopass business, but we really can't expect miracles."  
Gluk looked rather pleased with himself.  "A question, though -- what was a 
patch of ice doing here on the Grid in the middle of summer?  That's 
impossi... wait, no.  Just improbable."  He smacked his forehead in disgust. 
 "Of course.  The Baron was testing that fancy new ship of his today, 
wasn't he."  Gluk nodded.  "Well, at least we got something useful out of 
it, and managed to fix up the little ice problem before winter hit and made 
things go really nuts.  Ah well.  You patch up that wing.  I'm going to pick 
up all this stuff I dropped."
]]
One random location becomes Proto-Frozen.
One nweek after the passing of this proposal, in the rule __Payload 
Delivery__, change "5 points" to "7 points".
}}
[[End proposal]]

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