Craig Daniel on Wed, 17 Dec 2008 11:54:21 -0700 (MST)


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[s-d] Proto: Restoration of Gnomes


The following proto is a carbon copy of the oldest version of the
gnome rule I can find from era 1, with most of the gnome types removed
because a lot of them had accumulated by nweek 22. The language is
also updated ("shall be" becomes "is" except when the modern "shall"
is meant) but stylistically much of it retains the old-fashioned
flavor. All points are converted to mackerel or Health (Era 1 had
points of Score, Charm, and Respect; Score points were spent on
gnomes) and much of the randomness is removed because we don't want to
require so many die rolls.

{Create a rule entitled "Towels, Beer Cans, and other Gnomish accessories":
{Towels are a Currency. Only legal entities can own Towels. Whenever
an entity becomes a Player, all Towels in their possession are
destroyed and they gain one Towel.

There exist Ownable, Transferrable Game Objects called Beer Cans. Any
Player who possesses a Beer Can may Drink it, which destroys the Beer
Can.}

Create a rule entitled "Gnomes":
{There exist Ownable, Transferrable Game Objects known as Gnomes. Each
Gnome has a type. All Gnome types must have unique names, in the form
of "**** Gnomes", where **** is a string of at least 1 alphanumeric
character. Gnomes have a Switch called "Wet", defaulting to Off, and a
switch called Amorphous, defaulting to Off. A Gnome with its Amorphous
Switch set to On is said to be an Amorphous Blob.

There exists a Ministry called the Ministry of Gnomes. The Minister of
Gnomes, or Gardener, is responsible for tracking the Hit Points,
locations, and Owners of all Gnomes, and for operating the Gnome
Factory. /* The original version of this let the game's only officer,
the Admin, track everything. This creates somebody whose job is the
same with respect to Gnomes, without having an Admin. */

Whenever a new Gnome type is defined, five Unowned Gnomes of that type
are placed on a random Grid Squares whose coordinates are both in the
range from -20 to 20 inclusive. /* Originally one Gnome was created on
a random Square. But the Era 1 grid was only 11x11. */

Each Gnome has a number of Hit Points. All Gnomes start with 2 Hit
Points unless a rule specifies otherwise.

If a Gnome has less than 1 Hit Point, it crumbles to dust and is destroyed.

All Unowned Gnomes have a Square on which they are Resident.

If a Player and a Gnome are Resident on the same Square the Player may
pick up the Gnome, becoming its Owner.

A Player who has a Gnome may throw it at another Square or at a Player
in another Square. Gnomes cannot be thrown at Players who are
Inactive.

If a Gnome is thrown at a Player, the Player can, as a Game Action,
catch the Gnome within two ndays of it being thrown. If the Player
does not or cannot catch the Gnome, the Gnome hits the Player, who
then loses m12 to the Player that threw the Gnome; the Gnome then
loses 1 hit Point and becomes Unowned and Resident on the same Square
as the Player at which it was thrown.

There exists an Unownable Game Object called the Gnome Factory. At the
beginning of each nweek, the Gnome Factory creates one Gnome of a
random type on a random Uncoloured Square whose coordinates are both
in the range from -50 to 50 inclusive. The Gnome Factory cannot create
Gnomes of any type if there is not already at least one Gnome of that
type on the Grid. If there are no Uncoloured Squares or Gnomes on the
Grid, the Gnome Factory does not produce a Gnome. /* Uncoloured
Squares are the generic type, like Mud Squares in the Era 1 game. */

If a player has more than one non-Amorphous Gnome that is possessed by
em, e may mix eir non-Amorphous Gnomes together, which destroys the
Gnomes thus mixed and creates a new one. Gnomes may only be mixed as
explicitly permitted by the rules.

If a player possessess a Gnome and a Beer Can, e may feed the Can to
the Gnome, which destroys the Can. If a Gnome is Wet and it is fed a
Beer Can, it turns into an Amorphous Blob. At the end of each nweek,
each Blob that existed at the beginning of that nweek turns into two
non-Amorphous Gnomes of the same type as the Gnome which became the
Blob in the first place.

There exist Unownable Game Objects called Garbage Cans. Each Garbage
Can is Resident on exactly one Square. Initially there is a Garbage
Can on each of (50,50), (-50,-50), (50,-50), and (-50,50).  /*
Historical Note: in Era 1, the rule instead stated that "There is a
Garbage Can at each Elbonian Airways location." */ Any player who
holds a Gnome and is in a Square adjacent to a Square that conatains a
Garbage Can may Throw Out a Gnome in eir possession, destroying the
Gnome and gaining m5.

/* The next part of the nweek 22 rule listed the following Gnome
Types: Yoyo, Ice, Fire, Weather, Water, Earth, Grain, Winter, Summer,
Beer, Tea, Sheep, Bomb, Wine, Vodka, Tequila, Coffee, Espresso, Grape
Kool-Aid, Champagne, Scottish, Purple Jesus Punch, Ford Prefect,
Basic, Air, Lemon, Herb, Alien, Grape, Potato, Russian, British,
Irish. Since most of these existed to interact with the game's
Sobriety mechanic or with properties of Grid Locations that have no
meaningful equivalent today, they have been replaced with the
following list. */

There exist Gnomes of type Yoyo. When a Yoyo Gnome is Thrown at a
player and is not caught, it returns to the possession of the player
who threw it, if one exists. Yoyo Gnomes have 3 Hit Points.

There exist gnomes of type Beer. Beer Gnomes have three hit points.
Beer Gnomes may be squeezed by the player holding them at the cost of
one of their hit points to produce a Beer Can. When a Beer Gnome runs
out of hit points, it becomes a Beer Can.

There exist Gnomes called Sheep Gnomes.

At the beginning of an nweek, if no Sheep Gnomes exist, 8 Sheep Gnomes
appear on random Squares whose coordinates are in the range from -50
to 50 inclusive. If a Sheep Gnome appears on the same Square as any
player, that player loses 25 Health. /* Originally only two Sheep
Gnomes appeared, but our Grid is bigger. Having a Sheep Gnome fall on
you cost you 1d4 Score Points, as there was no health. */

There exist Gnomes of type Bomb. If a player throws a Bomb Gnome at a
Grid Location, the Bomb Gnome is destroyed and that Square becomes
Uncoloured. /* Originally, Bomb Gnomes made Squares become Fire.
Laying waste to Empires seems the relevant equivalent. */ If a player
throws a Bomb Gnome at another player and the targeted player fails to
catch it, the Bomb Gnome is destroyed, the targeted player loses 75
Health. /* Originally, they lost 15 points and got moved to Limbo -
the equivalent of being Unsquared - and the square got set on fire. */
To Catch a Bomb Gnome, a player must select a random number from 1 to
(4-n), where n is the number of times the Bomb Gnome has been thrown.
On a 1, the Bomb Gnome is destroyed, and the targeted player loses 25
Health.

There exist Gnomes of type Ford Prefect. Ford Prefect Gnomes have one
hit point. Ford Prefect Gnomes cannot be created by the Gnome Factory.
A player may, at any time, squeeze a Ford Prefect Gnome they hold at
the cost of one of the Ford Prefect Gnome's hit points to get a Towel.

There exist Gnomes of type Mackerel. A player may, at any time,
squeeze a Mackerel Gnome they hold at the cost of one of the Mackerel
Gnome's hit points to gain m3.

There exist Gnomes of the Types Basic, British, and Alien, which have
no special properties.}

Create a rule entitled "The Wine List":
{Three Basic Gnomes can be mixed to create a Gnome of a type selected
at random by the player mixing them.
A Beer Gnome, a British Gnome, and an Alien Gnome can be mixed to
create a Ford Prefect Gnome.}

/* It is the intent of the proposal that new Gnome Types will be
established with combinations thereof appearing in the Wine List rule.
Most formulae in the olden days only called for two Gnomes, but the
better ones were many two-Gnome steps long. */

Create thrice an Insane Number of Unowned Basic Gnomes on random
Unoccupied squares chosen by the Minister of the Grid whose
coordinates are both in the range from -50 to 50 inclusive. Create a
Towel in the possession of each Player.}

Note that there are not originally, any non-Basic gnomes, nor can the
Gnome Factory create any. Sheep Gnomes will appear, however, as will
other types as people collect Basic Gnomes and mix them.

To be done before this becomes a real Proposal: make Gnome-throwing
have a finite range, albeit a long one. Possibly, find a better
conversion for Bomb Gnomes.

 - teucer
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